Power Couples: Sharing Personal and Professional Lives

February 4, 2014 , by Nistha Rayamajhi, Leave your thoughts

What does it feel like to be married to a person in the same profession? How do you balance work and home life? Does having your partner around all the time create conflicts, or create stronger bonds? Find out with three power couples who have made their dreams come true.

Binayendra, Architect and Nina, Interior Designer

It was back in 2002 when they had their first ever virtual encounter. During the first seasons of love, there was sparks and butterflies, and they knew it was not one of those fleeting affairs. Marriage was then “on the cards” for both 39-years-old Binayendra Shrestha and Nina Shrestha, 32 whose mutual feelings grew even stronger.

“We met through a social website which was something like hamronepal.com. I still remember how we clicked instantly and everything followed after,” says Binayendra.

Binayendra was a student of architecture in India, while Nina was pursuing her studies in Kathmandu. But the online medium worked as a bridge to nurture their relationship. He is more outspoken while she is a little reserved. But their personalities complement each other.

Finding each other like minded, both of them connected naturally, rather than just admiring each others’ personalities. After a long duration of online chat, the couples finally united in their hometown in Kathmandu.

But interestingly, they not only share similar passions but belonged to the same creative profession.

A perfect home is not just about an attractive looking infrastructure, but also about what the interior holds. His profession of architecture and hers of interior designing made an ideal emblem of what a perfect home should be. Architecture is all about the art and science of designing as a whole, while interior designing is creating a certain atmosphere for living within the building space. Binayendra further explains that architecture is mostly building from “whole to part” and interior is building from “part to whole.” With time, they were so at ease with each other that their work just became an addition of the comfortable relationship they shared.

But their journey was not always a bed of roses. They both still remember the time when they decided to start their firm, Tekton Consultancy, even before getting married. They had a modest beginning, with used computers and refurbished old furniture. They were short of budget but not of ideas. They still work together relentlessly.

“Those moments will always be special. Owning a business together was like raising a child. We had our shares of happiness and difficulties, but with time, we made it through,” reminiscences the couple.

Like every couple, they have their shares of ups and downs. But whenever there’s conflict, both of them have learned to turn it into benefits. Moreover, they both also find it blissful to be in the same profession. “We have the benefit of sharing what we want to do and making business decisions together,” says Binayendra. His wife can’t agree more. “We can even meet with clients and developers as a team, and even travel to building sites together” adds Nina.

The similar personalities and goals that brought them together in fact have also helped to make them better rational partners. They both agree and believe that you can work out any relationship when you are traveling down the same road. “Your marriage also becomes a sort of a partnership and you become best friends. And whom else would you trust if not your partner?” says Binayendra, and adds that it is undoubtedly positive to work with the person that you trust the most.

Both agree that communication has worked to make their relationship even stronger. “Even if you don’t share a similar opinion, it is important to speak your mind. There will be times when you won’t agree on something, but we try supporting each other’s decision,” he says.

The best part of being married and in the same profession, he believes, is that you feel more secure with each other, and you generate ideas together. “Sometimes when we are very busy to complete a certain project, we try and balance the work load so that we can both use our creativity,” says Nina.

If need be, they also criticize each other’s work so that it enhances their productivity and leaves room for growth. “Sometimes work related arguments extend for long hours and there are instances where you don’t agree with each other but that further helps us to reach a better conclusion,” adds Nina.

But though they are doing business together, the couple makes sure to invest in their personal lives as well. Like any other couple, they love indulging in good times with their family and friends and each other.

Nina admits that she is a spendthrift and loves shopping, while he is more into outdoor adventures like cycling around the valley. But both of them love traveling, and whenever they can spare some time, they pack their bags and are ready to explore. Nina also likes to keep herself busy with acrylic painting whenever she’s in the mood. But they mostly bond by engaging themselves in their passion and interests together.

“There are ways you can maintain peace and harmony at work and not bring the work burden back home. We always keep this one rule in mind so that it gives us the space we need,” says the couple.

They both agree that being there for each other at personal and professional level have helped them achieve success in life. “We definitely are career oriented but equally believe in relishing personal spaces.” It is in fact these traits that have helped them maintain a content relationship.

Nitima and Karuna, Meditation Practitioners and Healers

There are couples who stand as an example that it is better to strike a chord when you belong in the same profession. Both Nitima Shrestha and Karuna Priya also known by the name Assaji, practice the art of ancient healing in UK. They collaborate to give their clients every possible chance to stay grounded, healthy, motivated, and happy.

An Integrative Therapist and child counselor in a school, Nitima uses meditation and mindfulness in her therapeutic work. On the other hand, Karuna focuses and specializes in mindfulness meditation. He is also an instructor and a Chaplain and Buddhist faith advisor at Imperial College in London.

Marriages can often turn into a battlefield when there are differences and conflicts to resolve. But for this couple, their professional practices complement each other and not only balance their work and personal life, but also their clients in terms of family life and career.

Going down the memory lane, they both remember and cherish every single detail of how their love affair started. On Boxing Day in 2009, they met through a mutual friend in a Nepalis Buddhist Centre (Byoma Kusuma) in South Ruislip, UK. She was out with her friend who had actually invited Karuna for dinner. But it so happened that Karuna turned up two hours before the scheduled time, so she had to rush her friend back to her place.

It was a cold-bitter winter afternoon and she got the first glimpse of Karuna who was walking towards her friend’s place with a bunch of flowers. It was sort of love at first sight for Nitima as she found him genuine and innocent. “He was radiating with warmth and positive energy. I felt an immediate connection. I was mesmerized by his humbleness and wealth of wisdom he carried from his Buddhist philosophy,” she shares.

But overlooking the traditional belief that men are supposed to court women, she made the first move. “I was more outspoken and outgoing than him, so I began to chase him. After meeting a few more times, our relationship began as the feeling was mutual,” she says.

Nitima is loud in nature while Karuna is calm. While he often helps her be grounded, she brings vigor and color in their relationship. And when it comes to work, they quite know how to balance it. Karuna explains that firstly, their roles are quite different even when they are working together. But the major aspect of their work however is dealing with emotions.

“She has her individual practice that she does using her own set of skills, and I have my own. So in that sense, we don’t feel that we overlap” he says.

Nitima further explains that in the past few years, meditation has been spreading rapidly as it reduces anxiety, increases creativity, and makes you efficient and grounded. They explain that people are becoming more isolated and stressed due to demanding and hectic lifestyles. Cases of depression and emotional disorders are on the rise. Therefore eastern practices such as Yoga, Meditation, Tai Chi and acupuncture are becoming popular.

“As you become more aware of your subtle thoughts and emotions, this is where therapeutic work is needed. That is where Nitima’s skill as an integrative therapist come into play. In order to progress in life, one would require clearing old habits, disturbing emotions and thoughts,” he explains.

But it took some time for them to establish themselves in a foreign land. Since a young age, Nitima was fascinated with alternative healing methods and human psychology. She feels fortunate to have come across her Buddhist master Mahayogi Sridhar Rana Rinpoche in Nepal who has been in retreat for over 17 years. Rinpoche’s compassion, practice and consistent effort to benefit the sentient inspired her. She was back in college to gain more knowledge about human psychology, but Buddhist practices allowed her to understand its depth and universal principles. What started as an interest turned into a profession.

Karuna on the other hand, realized that his own practice in meditation, Buddhist philosophy and psychology have a lot to offer to understand human nature, emotions and happiness. He further adds that both of them practiced meditating a lot, as it can be taught only through experience.

But it was very challenging to begin with. Her family and friends couldn’t understand their passion and told them it wasn’t worth it, and that they won’t make it. But she was determined and could see light at the end of the tunnel.

Karuna further adds that it took about a year to establish their business from scratch as they were new and inexperienced. They both remember traveling for over two hours to do an hour class for three people. At times there would be no clients, but they would still practice meditating.

Nitima would expect Karuna to be perfect, and point out even his minute mistakes. But at the end of the day it made their relationship stronger. “Karuna is workaholic, I’ve never heard him complain about work. His patience inspires me,” she says. A number of times, Nitima thought that perhaps it’s better to pursue meditation only as an interest, but Karuna was persistent. “His humble enthusiasm and patience drove us both,” she shares.

They took baby steps and cherished the small group of clients that was finally beginning to get the hang of their practices. Slowly, with word of mouth, their practice grew. Together, they are now running five courses in and around London with numerous retreats and workshops.

The key to their success is the act of balancing. Nitima works with the administrative side of things while Karuna handles the teachings and public relations. “In case of problems we discuss and try to solve it. If one is falling behind, the other can encourage. We also share our personal experiences with clients so that they can relate better,” she says.

Nitima has lived in the UK for most of her life and she is quite familiar with its culture. Though Karuna has lived here for four years, his travel experience allowed him to adapt here quite easily. As a young couple, they feel excited to explore things together.

Other than work, they also like discussing about Dharma and new books, watching documentaries and spending quality time with their family and friends.

This vibrant young couple is ready for all kinds of new ventures. In future, they want to expand their services to companies. Writing a book, touring different parts of the world, running retreats and seminars abroad and also administering online courses are also on the list.

The secret for their happy and successful relationship and profession is their love for what they do without prior expectations.

“Life happens only in the present moment. In mindfulness, we recognize the power of the present moment. We do not have to wait for a pay rise, go for a holiday or buy a new pair of shoes to be happy as happiness can be found here and now. We just have to look around to find it,” say the couple.

Chandanee and Jagdish, Accountants

Chandnee Jha, 31 and 39-year-old Jagdish Bhattarai’s story is slightly different. Their first meeting was in a professional setting. They both had joined the same company on the same day. Chandanee was an audit trainee while Jagdish was a senior auditor at T.R Upadhyay and Company based in Kathmandu.

“It took some time for us to fall in love as we hardly knew each other. I found that we had very few things in common when it came to hobbies, friends circle and likes and dislikes,” shares Chandnee.

But like they say—opposites attract. Their love blossomed with time. They got to spend more time during their audit assignments, and in no time, started cherishing each other’s company.

But marriage however, was nowhere in sight as she was pursuing her Association of Chartered Certified Accountants (ACCA) and he was preparing for the final papers of Chartered Accountant (CA).

Both of them were career oriented and being in the same field helped them plan better for their future. Fortunately, he happened to clear his exams and qualify as a CA. She always wanted to go to the UK to take classes for her final papers, as that was the trend then. Apparently, he also had a strong urge to visit the country. So without further delay, they both decided to go abroad and try their luck.

But venturing out in the unknown was not an easy ride. Along with the happy memories of all the good times, they had their share of struggle too. The challenges were overwhelming at times, but being together helped them solve all kinds of obstacles.

After staying for around 18 months in the UK, Chandnee wanted to extend their stay, but Jagdish had plans to return to his hometown to be with his parents and start something on his own. She respected his decision. As they both had a similar dream and wanted to be together, they both decided to come back.

One thing led to another and by that time, their bond had become quite strong. Hence, without any hassle or obstructions from their family, they tied the knot.

“I just followed my heart and him and we came back to Kathmandu to build our life together,” says Chandnee.

Chandnee now works in a commercial bank in Kathmandu and Jagdish runs a practice of his own. But coming back proved to be a good decision for both. Chandnee was just a student back in the UK and here she gained professional expertise.

She had never been much of a planner but when she looks back, she feels lucky that everything fell into place. It is in fact the positive attitude and complementary personalities that helped them cope with every change and build a secure married life.

Both of them love to update each other about their professional experiences and learning, which they believe help them recognize their shortcomings and strong points. “I also feel privileged since my husband has always been my guide and mentor. I always look up to him,” she says and quickly adds, “I cannot think of any specific moment which I would like to call “special”. But yes, all those moments where I have been appreciated by my seniors and juniors are worth treasuring.”

She further explains that there’s no room for personal conflict when you know each other well and respect each other’s work.

Since he runs his own business, he has a much busier schedule, but they never compromise with quality family time. They love spending time with their daughter Shivangi who is just 28 months old. Besides that, the couple relish listening to old Hindi tracks, watch movies together and travel whenever they can buy some time.

“We know our priorities and we share the same values. So everything else gets managed on its own. We don’t make too many plans and believe in going with the flow and giving our best. With every new experience, we’ve grown closer,” says Chandnee.

Being in the same profession, it seems, has done more good than harm to these couples. They share every aspect of their life together, and get to know each other more intimately than any other couple. Hopefully, these stories will inspire other young couples in the same profession.

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Text By: Nistha Rayamajhi